Inappropriate Puns
by Rumbellove
Summary: A collection of short ficlets about Sans making a pun at an inappropriate times (it's funny I promise!)
1. Chapter 1

This camping trip was a good idea.

Everybody had decided that, it was a great time bonding together, Asgore, Undyne, Toriel, Alphys, Papyrus, Frisk, and Sans (rather reluctantly) had all agreed to go on a two day camping two months after emerging to the surface. At the moment they were all (save for Undyne the fish) gathered around a campfire roasting marshmallows. Most had gotten moderate success, except for Papyrus, who's marshmallow kept catching on fire, finally, after sixteen marshmallows wasted, Papyrus gave up.

"GAH! I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I GIVE UP" he said, taking the marshmallow off the stick and preparing to put it in his mouth. He had almost succeeded until Undyne came bursting through the tent she was finding refuge from the heat in.

"NGAHHHH" she screamed, "PAYPYRUS! DID I TRAIN YOU TO GIVE UP SO SOON?" Papyrus looked horrified and embarrassed.

"No but-but U-Undyne" he started in a quiet voice (which almost never happened)

"NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS PAPYRUS! WE WILL GET YOU A PERFECT MARSHMELLOW IF I DIE DOING IT" she screamed, sitting down beside papyrus angrily. Then, Sans piped up.

"Wow Undyne, you're being awfully _in_ _tents_ everybody then groaned save for Toriel who burst out laughing. Sans chuckled, "hey, can't blame you guys, my puns are pretty, un _bear_ able" he said chuckling, this time not even Toriel laughed. Maybe because they were all looking around horrified that they would soon be mailed to death by the aforementioned danger that was posed. Then, everybody scattered to different places, Frisk straight up ran off to the nearest save point, Undyne, Papyrus, and Asgore went to go find objects they could battle with while Toriel followed them, trying to coax them out of fighting ("Maybe we can talk to it! The poor creature is probably just confused). Alphys went to go hide in the tents, and poor Sans was left face-palming. There was no bear, they were in the woods so he thought he'd make- you know what? Nevermind.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: EEEEK people loved this story so I'm making it a thing! It's a thing now! Thanks for all the support!**

This was really boring.

Both Undyne and Sans had been commissioned to take Frisk to the park. They loved Frisk, really, and would do anything for them, but the two of them didn't mix in the slightest. Sans was lazy, no doubt about that, Undyne never gave up, and hated quitting, in a way, Sans was the bane of her existence. He went against everything she stood for.

"Okay kiddo, you got an hour, go have _pun_ " Frisk giggled and ran off while Undyne could barely contain her anger. "Wow, I guess you could say that Frisk sure is..." In that moment all Undyne could think was _this is it, this is finally it, if I hear another joke I swear to Asgore I will grab Sans and fling him in to the burning gas ball in the sky I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!_ Well, thankful for Sans, in her mental rage she didn't notice what he said anyways. Frisk came back not five minutes later with monster kid (or Andrew as the people who knew him personally called him)

"O-oh my god! Frisk! You're friends with-with Undyne! That is legendary!" Andrew went up to Undyne and started asking for her autograph and rambling about how cool she was, Undyne was flattered, but played it off like she got this all the time (she didn't). After she gave him his autograph Frisk motioned to Sans, it was hard for Andrew to get his eyes off his hero but finally he turned his attention to Sans.

"Oh, uh, hey kid" Sans pulled out a very realistic looking toy knife, which he kept from Frisk for... Safety reasons. He pointed the knife at Andrew quite prominently. " _Knife_ to meet you" Undyne couldn't control her rage and shouted a... Colourful string of words before storming off, Andrew's lip simply started quivering before he burst into tears and ran away, Frisk knew the knife was fake but still shot Sans a dirty look before running off to comfort the very upset monster. Sans face palmed, how could he have been so stupid?


	3. Chapter 3

Welp, this was... Interesting to say the least? Frisk had insisted on going to take a tour of the fire station and had dragged everyone with them. Well, besides Undyne, who thought it was a station that held fire and wasn't hearing any of Frisk's explanations. At least Papyrus was having the time of his life, that's all that really mattered to Sans.

Other than that, everybody was having mixed reactions, Alphys was somewhere examining the scientific aspects of the station after confirming she was a certified doctor. Papyrus's constant questions were getting on everybody's nerves (WHATS THIS? WHATS THAT OVER THERE?) Asgore seemed just plain fascinated with the surface's technology. Frisk was acting like any child would, touching and examining things, seeing what would happen if they did this or that. And Toriel was just trying to keep everyone in check. Sans thought a joke ought to relieve her stress.

"Hey, Tori" he nudged her elbow to get her attention, Toriel sighed, but turned to Sans, she didn't have time for this.

"Yes Sans?" She replied, straining her voice, she knew that tone, that was the tone that he sounded when he was about to make an awful pun.

"Is it just me or is it hot in here?" He asked, barely able to contain his excitement, this was the ultimate opportunity. Toriel's face tensed up, she looked at Sans with a confused and frightened expression. "Hey, don't _worry_ about the pain, your _nerves_ will go first" Sans burst out laughing but Toriel had quite the opposite expression.

"FIRE! FIRE!" She called out to alert everyone from there to Australia, what happened next was a blur of red and grey for Sans. Papyrus, Toriel, and Asgore ran for the front door, Frisk closed the door on the fire truck he was currently in, you could faintly hear Alphys sprinting to get out. Firemen slid down poles, water sprayed and Sans was in the middle of it all, there was no fire, geez, why did he have to do that?


End file.
